Torque and Chrome

I need to clean some chrome motorcycle wheels. What is the best home cleaning product to use?

Where can I find inexpensive, motorcycle wheels/rims? I have a 2000 Harley Lowrider and I'm looking to get some chrome wheels for it, but can't really find anything for under $1200. Any suggestions?

How do I distinguish what type of wheels are on my motorcycle? I purchased a Suzuki GSX-R750 a while ago that has very nice chrome wheels. I am trying to find out exactly what type of wheels they are but it doesn't say anywhere on the wheel itself that I can find. How do I find out what type of wheels are on this bike? Anything would help. Thanks guys!

What the process to painting spoke wheels on a motorcycle? I have a 1976 Honda cb750F SS with ugly chrome wheels and some rust pits. I would like to paint them with black base coat & then clear coat. Any advice on the process would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

I am trying to locate a power wheels classic chrome harley davidson motorcycle at a reasonable price.?

Motorcycle chrome wheel leaks? Was on a Harley, here's the story Bought a new chrome wheel, had a new tire mounted on it. It loses about a pound of air day. I've had 2 Harley dealers take the wheel of the bike and dunk it in a tank - no bubbles. The second one also took the tire off and replaced the tire valve remounted the tire - still leaks. Take it back to the second dealer, he takes the wheel and tire off, puts a used wheel on with a new tire, takes the old wheel and tire apart, mount a new tire on my chrome wheel and mounts my tire on a different wheel. The wheel with the new tire is losing air and the tire with the different wheel is holding air. So it must be the wheel rather than the tire that is leaking. I have the wheel here right now, have looked over it with a couple of magnifying glasses and I can't find any cracks. Are there permanent sealers for the wheel? Any ideas on how to solve this?

why do motorcycle wheels cost so much? A chrome 20 inch wheel for a car is about $300 to $500 each. Why is a chrome 18 inch wheel for a motorcycle about $900?

How do I clean exhaust off my rear wheel and chrome parts on my motorcycle? I have staggered exhaust and there is a chrome plate that decovrates the belt wheel and also the more rear exhaust pipe which is chrome and the aluminum alloy wheel. I am not looking to get special Harley bike cleaner. Anyone know any tricks to disolve stuck on exhaust that blackens bike parts?

Where can I get motorcycle wheels polished in NJ? I am looking to get the wheels on my bike polished. Somewhere near central NJ would be great. I do not want to chrome them.

How do I clean chain lubricant off of chrome? I have a motorcycle with chrome wheels. I recently greased my chain. I let the grease sit 24 hours before my next ride. When I rode it threw grease on one side of my rear rim, which is chrome. I washed the rim with soap and water but there are still small spots that won't come out. Please help!

Question about motorcycle wheels.....? Can you list any good websites that you can get wheels for a Honda CBR 900rr. Does not have to be custom or chrome etc, just direct replacement wheels. Remember 10 points to the best answer. (I dont want sites that only cover choppers & cruisers etc) Just to clarify for the ones that were confused about the question on WHEELS and NOT TIRES, I am looking for WHEELS and NOT TIRES.......(bgt242)

Where can I find aftermarket motorcycle rims? I was searching for new rims for my Honda VTX and I came accross this site: http://www.hondacustomizing.com/VTX/Wheels-Tires It looks like most of those are chromed factory wheels. Is it hard to find aftermarket motorcycle rims? Where can I find them?

Whats a good price for changing two tires on a motorcycle? The wheels are chrome, and are on the bike, I'm not taking them off myself. Also its a sport bike. I bought the tires already, I'm just curious to know what I might be looking in labor costs actually.

Where in IN can I get wheels rechromed? I have a pull behind motorcycle trailer rims are painted. I am getting ready to paint the trailer to match my bike and would like the rims chromed they are 8 X 3.75 inch rims pretty small and can't find them in chrome any where.

Pioneer Motorcycle...? My brother in law just got as a gift from a friend of his, and its a 2 wheel motorcycle, it looks like a harley, its chrome, and looks very nice...its 2006 model, and it has like 30 some miles on it.... hes going to sell it, and he is asking for 2,000 dollars, it that price right, or should it be more expensive ? Anyone know what a brande new one costs?

How much for rechroming an 18 inch wm2 motorcycle rim? IM restoring a BSA B44 and am thinking about having one of the 18 inch wheel rims rechromed. There is rust on the rim but not too serious with some pitting. The rim is an original Jones so I thought it would be worth saving. Any idea how much this costs and any recommendations, IM in Surrey UK. I want chrome that lasts not some rubbish which flakes off after a year or two!

is the hayabusa a good motorcycle? my whole extended family has bikes and were always trying to have a better bike than each other. since im tighter on cash now and hayabusa sounds like a really great choice anyways. but i need other opinions do you think this bike handles well . would it be good for mountain rides. is the 2007 model a good one or should i pay the extra for the 2008 or 2009. where is the best place to get after market parts for this bike as well. for example chrome wheels and handles spar painted windshield and so forth. thx

Who can tell me what this is on my motorcycle rims and forks? So, I've purchased a used motorcycle that has a little bit of rush and tarnish on it. I've been using never-dull and a turtlewax chrome polisher and rust remover to get most of it off of the engine and exhaust. But there is something that's on the forks, wheels, and front of the handlebars that has me puzzled. It's not rust. it's not scratches. Its something that's "on" the metal. It looks kind of like miniature silly string. With my finger nail I can tell that it sits on top of the metal. It seems like it might be some sort of corrosion, but so far it hasn't come off with gasoline, the never dull, or the turtlewax product. I know that the person who had this motorcycle used to park it at a pier next to the ocean...I don't know if that helps. I'm hoping someone can see this and recognize it. Maybe then I can figure out how to remove it. I've posted a picture of it on tinypic. Here is the picture link: http://i34.tinypic.com/1zxtdth.jpg Thanks!

I rcv'd a fwrd'd email with a pic of a kid on a little harley(looks SO real) blk/chrome. Where can i find one? The little motorcycle was so cool. It had little black leather cargo pouches on it and all. I beleive it came with removable training wheels too. All i can find is a maroon one online. It is way to babyish for my 5 yr old. I want something that isn't so kid like. I am looking for something that looks real. Any help would be great. Thanks!

Painting motorcycle rims? I am working on painting the rims black for my 1973 CB450. I have already bead blasted the (pitted/rusty) chrome off of the rims and am debating which paint would be the most durable. How would you rate duplicolor, vht, or any other black wheel paints? Thanks in advance. P.S. I already filled the pits with jb weld, so powder coating is not an option.

I am trying to find a company that makes custom black and gold spoke rims for custom motorcycles? I found a company on the west coast called something like black biker choppers, they made custom wire spoke wheels, with gold lip, and black spokes, i would really like to find that company again, the wheels must be gold lip, black nuts, and chrome spokes

harley davidson question about a bike im buying? how much vibration should i see when motor is running on this bike ? this is what the bike is ; 2002 Motorcycle by Lightning Customs of Florida. Engine- 107 CID By Lightning Customs Pistons- Wiseco 10.5:1 Bore- 4x4 1\8 Cam- Crane 610 Clutch- Rivera Engineering Frame- Kenny Boyce pro street with custom modifications Rake- 34* Front end- Billet inverted by American Trans- 5 speed CCI Forward controls- Chrome horse Swing arm- Lightning Customs Rear fender- Milwaukee Iron Front fender- Sumax Front wheel- Chrome 19" Rear wheel- Smoothie 15" 180 Custom paint with Gold overlay, thanks for your help it looks like its bouncing ,maybe a half inch up and down

How much is a 2000 model yamaha banshee worth? ENGINE; VFORCE reed valve systems, HOT ROD crank, KEIHIN motorcycle racing carbs with K&N air filters. WHEELS; MICKEY THOMPSON drag slicks on chrome rims, AMERICAN RACER street tires on aluminum rims, chrome rims on front. chrome +8 rear swing arm, chrome struts, CPI RACING pipes, kill switch. It Seems to set up for drag racing but I cldont know if it's been raced or not. The owner has not returned my email. It's listed for sale for 4,200. Is the a fair amount.

Has Paul JR built anything yet? So far all I know is he redesigned a portable grill (chrome, black paint, bigger wheels) and wants to be the one who sells you your next hat, shades, or T Shirt (which I assume raises cap to buy shop equipment and pay Vinnie, the only wrench-turner he "owns"). But has he built a bike yet? Nothing on his site actually mentions motorcycles! Is the fight with Sr. for real or is this all fake like a soap opera? Figuring there are more people who might know in the motorcycle section than the TV section maybe??

Squirril of DEATH, long as hell, but funny? An original true story, written by a Battalion Fire Chief in a Mississippi town. EVIL MUTANT ATTACK SQUIRREL OF DEATH I never dreamed that slowly cruising on my motorcycle through a residential neighborhood could be so incredibly dangerous! Little did I suspect. I was on Brice Street - a very nice neighborhood with perfect lawns and slow traffic. As I passed an oncoming car, a brown furry missile shot out from under it and tumbled to a stop immediately in front of me. It was a squirrel, and must have been trying to run across the road when it encountered the car. I really was not going very fast, but there was no time to brake or avoid it -- it was that close. I hate to run over animals, and I really hate it on a motorcycle, but a squirrel should pose no danger to me. I barely had time to brace for the impact. Animal lovers, never fear. Squirrels, I discovered, can take care of themselves! Inches before impact, the squirrel flipped to his feet. He was standing on his hind legs and facing my oncoming Valkyrie with steadfast resolve in his beady little eyes. His mouth opened, and at the last possible second, he screamed and leapt! I am pretty sure the scream was squirrel for, "Banzai!" or maybe, "Die you gravy-sucking, heathen scum!" The leap was nothing short of spectacular... He shot straight up, flew over my windshield, and impacted me squarely in the chest. Instantly, he set upon me. If I did not know better, I would have sworn he brought 20 of his little buddies along for the attack. Snarling, hissing, and tearing at my clothes, he was a frenzy of activity. As I was dressed only in a light T-shirt, summer riding gloves, and jeans this was a bit of a cause for concern. This furry little tornado was doing some damage! Picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a T-shirt, and leather gloves, puttering at maybe 25 mph down a quiet residential street, and in the fight of his life with a squirrel. And losing... I grabbed for him with my left hand. After a few misses, I finally managed to snag his tail. With all my strength, I flung the evil rodent off to the left of the bike, almost running into the right curb as I recoiled from the throw. That should have done it. The matter should have ended right there. It really should have. The squirrel could have sailed into one of the pristinely kept yards and gone on about his business, and I could have headed home. No one would have been the wiser. But this was no ordinary squirrel. This was not even an ordinary angry squirrel. This was an EVIL MUTANT ATTACK SQUIRREL OF DEATH! Somehow he caught my gloved finger with one of his little hands and, with the force of the throw, swung around and with a resounding thump and an amazing impact, he landed squarely on my BACK and resumed his rather antisocial and extremely distracting activities. He also managed to take my left glove with him! The situation was not improved. Not improved at all. His attacks were continuing, and now I could not reach him. I was startled, to say the least. The combination of the force of the throw, only having one hand (the throttle hand) on the handlebars, and my jerking back unfortunately put a healthy twist through my right hand and into the throttle. A healthy twist on the throttle of a Valkyrie can only have one result. TORQUE. This is what the Valkyrie is made for, and she is very, very good at it. The engine roared and the front wheel left the pavement. The squirrel screamed in anger. The Valkyrie screamed in ecstasy. I screamed in . well . I just plain screamed. Now picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a slightly squirrel-torn t-shirt, wearing only one leather glove and roaring at maybe 50 mph and rapidly accelerating down a quiet residential street on one wheel, with a demonic squirrel of death on his back. The man and the squirrel are both screaming bloody murder. With the sudden acceleration I was forced to put my other hand back on the handlebars and try to get control of the bike. This was leaving the mutant squirrel to his own devices, but I really did not want to crash into somebody's tree, house, or parked car. Also, I had not yet figured out how to release the throttle... my brain was just simply overloaded. I did manage to mash the back brake, but it had little effect against the massive power of the big cruiser. About this time the squirrel decided that I was not paying sufficient attention to this very serious battle (maybe he was an evil mutant NAZI attack squirrel of death), and he came around my neck and got INSIDE my full-face helmet with me. As the faceplate closed part way, he began hissing in my face. I am quite sure my screaming changed intensity. It had little effect on the squirrel, however. The RPMs on the Dragon maxed out (since I was not bothering with shifting at the moment), so her front end started to drop. Now picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a very raggedly torn T-shirt, wearing only one leather glove, roaring at probably 80 mph, still on one wheel, with a large puffy squirrel's tail sticking out of the mostly closed full-face helmet. By now, the screams are probably getting a little hoarse. Finally I got the upper hand ... I managed to grab his tail again, pulled him out of my helmet, and slung him to the left as hard as I could. This time it worked ... sort of. Spectacularly sort of ..so to speak. Picture a new scene. You are a cop. You and your partner have pulled off on a quiet residential street and parked with your windows down to do some paperwork. Suddenly a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a torn T-shirt flapping in the breeze, and wearing only one leather glove, moving at probably 80 mph on one wheel, and screaming bloody murder roars by, and with all his strength throws a live squirrel grenade directly into your police car. I heard screams. They weren't mine... I managed to get the big motorcycle under control and dropped the front wheel to the ground. I then used maximum braking and skidded to a stop in a cloud of tire smoke at the stop sign of a busy cross street. I would have returned to 'fess up' (and to get my glove back). I really would have. Really... Except for two things. First, the cops did not seem interested or the slightest bit concerned about me at the moment. When I looked back, the doors on both sides of the patrol car were flung wide open. The cop from the passenger side was on his back, doing a crab walk into somebody's front yard, quickly moving away from the car. The cop who had been in the driver's seat was standing in the street, aiming a riot shotgun at his own police car. So, the cops were not interested in me. They often insist to "let the professionals handle it" anyway. That was one thing. The other? Well, I could clearly see shredded and flying pieces of foam and upholstery from the back seat. But I could also swear I saw the squirrel in the back window, shaking his little fist at me. That is one dangerous squirrel. And now he has a patrol car. A somewhat shredded patrol car .. but it was all his. I took a deep breath, turned on my turn signal, made a gentle right turn off of Brice Street, and sedately left the neighborhood. I decided it was best to just buy myself a new pair of gloves. And a whole lot of Band-Aids.

How many of you miss the days when motorcycles didn't look like Toys? Now a days they are covered in plastic, have tiny,fat wheels and are generally lacking in any design qualities that once made them unique in the first place. OK ,they may handle a lot better but who really drives that fast anyway? I don't want a race replica with a of of tacky advertising pasted all over the fairing, I want something shinny,not chromed out, but polished aluminum,and with spoked wheels of a substantial diameter and not those tiny,clunky looking cast abortion that manufacturing technology seems to favor so much. Point taken Taylor M. Thanks. I just wish I could find a few like mind individualists.

A Joke For Motorcycle Riders? It’s long but well worth the read, I am still laughing damn Neighborhood Hazard (Or: Why the Cops Won’t Patrol Brice Street) I never dreamed slowly cruising through a residential neighborhood could be so incredibly dangerous! Studies have shown that motorcycling requires more decisions per second, and more sheer data processing than nearly any other common activity or sport. The reactions and accurate decision making abilities needed have been likened to the reactions of fighter pilots! The consequences of bad decisions or poor situational awareness are pretty much the same for both groups too. Occasionally, as a rider I have caught myself starting to make bad or late decisions while riding. In flight training, my instructors called this being "behind the power curve". It is a mark of experience that when this begins to happen, the rider recognizes the situation, and more importantly, does something about it. A short break, a meal, or even a gas stop can set things right again as it gives the brain a chance to catch up. Good, accurate, and timely decisions are essential when riding a motorcycle…at least if you want to remain among the living. In short, the brain needs to keep up with the machine. I had been banging around the roads of east Texas and as I headed back into Dallas, found myself in very heavy, high-speed traffic on the freeways. Normally, this is not a problem, I commute in these conditions daily, but suddenly I was nearly run down by a cage that decided it needed my lane more than I did. This is not normally a big deal either, as it happens around here often, but usually I can accurately predict which drivers are not paying attention and avoid them before we are even close. This one I missed seeing until it was nearly too late, and as I took evasive action I nearly broadsided another car that I was not even aware was there! Two bad decisions and insufficient situational awareness…all within seconds. I was behind the power curve. Time to get off the freeway. I hit the next exit, and as I was in an area I knew pretty well, headed through a few big residential neighborhoods as a new route home. As I turned onto the nearly empty streets I opened the visor on my full-face helmet to help get some air. I figured some slow riding through the quiet surface streets would give me time to relax, think, and regain that "edge" so frequently required when riding. Little did I suspect… As I passed an oncoming car, a brown furry missile shot out from under it and tumbled to a stop immediately in front of me. It was a squirrel, and must have been trying to run across the road when it encountered the car. I really was not going very fast, but there was no time to brake or avoid it—it was that close. I hate to run over animals…and I really hate it on a motorcycle, but a squirrel should pose no danger to me. I barely had time to brace for the impact. Animal lovers, never fear. Squirrels can take care of themselves! Inches before impact, the squirrel flipped to his feet. He was standing on his hind legs and facing the oncoming Valkyrie with steadfast resolve in his little beady eyes. His mouth opened, and at the last possible second, he screamed and leapt! I am pretty sure the scream was squirrel for, "Banzai!" or maybe, "Die you gravy-sucking, heathen scum!" as the leap was spectacular and he flew over the windshield and impacted me squarely in the chest. Instantly he set upon me. If I did not know better I would have sworn he brought twenty of his little buddies along for the attack. Snarling, hissing, and tearing at my clothes, he was a frenzy of activity. As I was dressed only in a light t-shirt, summer riding gloves, and jeans this was a bit of a cause for concern. This furry little tornado was doing some damage! Picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a t-shirt, and leather gloves puttering maybe 25mph down a quiet residential street…and in the fight of his life with a squirrel. And losing. I grabbed for him with my left hand and managed to snag his tail. With all my strength I flung the evil rodent off the left of the bike, almost running into the right curb as I recoiled from the throw. That should have done it. The matter should have ended right there. It really should have. The squirrel could have sailed into one of the pristinely kept yards and gone on about his business, and I could have headed home. No one would have been the wiser. But this was no ordinary squirrel. This was not even an ordinary pissed-off squirrel. This was an evil attack squirrel of death! Somehow he caught my gloved finger with one of his little hands, and with the force of the throw swung around and with a resounding thump and an amazing impact he landed square on my back and resumed his rather anti-social and extremely distracting activities. He also managed to take my left glove with him! The situation was not improved. Not improved at all. His attacks were continuing, and now I could not reach him. I was startled to say the least. The combination of the force of the throw, only having one hand (the throttle hand) on the handlebars, and my jerking back unfortunately put a healthy twist through my right hand and into the throttle. A healthy twist on the throttle of a Valkyrie can only have one result. Torque. This is what the Valkyrie is made for, and she is very, very good at it. The engine roared as the front wheel left the pavement. The squirrel screamed in anger. The Valkyrie screamed in ecstasy. I screamed in…well…I just plain screamed. Now picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a slightly squirrel torn t-shirt, and only one leather glove roaring at maybe 70mph and rapidly accelerating down a quiet residential street…on one wheel and with a demonic squirrel on his back. The man and the squirrel are both screaming bloody murder. With the sudden acceleration I was forced to put my other hand back on the handlebars and try to get control of the bike. This was leaving the mutant squirrel to his own devices, but I really did not want to crash into somebody’s tree, house, or parked car. Also, I had not yet figured out how to release the throttle…my brain was just simply overloaded. I did manage to mash the back brake, but it had little affect against the massive power of the big cruiser. About this time the squirrel decided that I was not paying sufficient attention to this very serious battle (maybe he is a Scottish attack squirrel of death), and he came around my neck and got IN my full-face helmet with me. As the faceplate closed partway and he began hissing in my face I am quite sure my screaming changed tone and intensity. It seemed to have little affect on the squirrel however. The rpm’s on The Dragon maxed out (I was not concerned about shifting at the moment) and her front end started to drop. Now picture the large man on the huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a very ragged torn t-shirt, and wearing one leather glove, roaring at probably 80mph, still on one wheel, with a large puffy squirrel’s tail sticking out his mostly closed full-face helmet. By now the screams are probably getting a little hoarse. Finally I got the upper hand…I managed to grab his tail again, pulled him out of my helmet, and slung him to the left as hard as I could. This time it worked…sort-of. Spectacularly sort-of, so to speak. Picture the scene. You are a cop. You and your partner have pulled off on a quiet residential street and parked with your windows down to do some paperwork. Suddenly a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a torn t-shirt flapping in the breeze, and wearing one leather glove, moving at probably 80mph on one wheel, and screaming bloody murder roars by and with all his strength throws a live squirrel grenade directly into your police car. I heard screams. They weren’t mine... I managed to get the big motorcycle under directional control and dropped the front wheel to the ground. I then used maximum braking and skidded to a stop in a cloud of tire smoke at the stop sign at a busy cross street. I would have returned to fess up (and to get my glove back). I really would have. Really. But for two things. First, the cops did not seem interested or the slightest bit concerned about me at the moment. One of them was on his back in the front yard of the house they had been parked in front of and was rapidly crabbing backwards away from the patrol car. The other was standing in the street and was training a riot shotgun on the police cruiser. So the cops were not interested in me. They often insist to "let the professionals handle it" anyway. That was one thing. The other? Well, I swear I could see the squirrel, standing in the back window of the patrol car among shredded and flying pieces of foam and upholstery, and shaking his little fist at me. I think he was shooting me the finger… That is one dangerous squirrel. And now he has a patrol car… I took a deep breath, turned on my turn-signal, made an easy right turn, and sedately left the neighborhood. As for my easy and slow drive home? Screw it. Faced with a choice of 80mph cars and inattentive drivers, or the evil, demonic, attack squirrel of death...I’ll take my chances with the freeway. Every time. And I’ll buy myself a new pair of gloves

Demon Squirrel (Kinda long)? I never dreamed slowly cruising through a residential neighborhood could be so incredibly dangerous! Studies have shown that motorcycling requires more decisions per second and more sheer data processing than nearly any other common activity or sport. The reactions and accurate decision making abilities needed have been likened to the reactions of fighter pilots! The consequences of bad decisions or poor situational awareness are pretty much the same for both groups too. Occasionally, as a rider I have caught myself starting to make bad or late decisions while riding. In flight training, my instructors called this being "behind the power curve". It is a mark of experience that when this begins to happen, the rider recognizes the situation, and more importantly, does something about it. A short break, a meal, or even a gas stop can set things right again as it gives the brain a chance to catch up. Good, accurate, and timely decisions are essential when riding a motorcycle, at least if you want to remain among the living. In short, the brain needs to keep up with the machine. I had been banging around the roads of east Texas and as I headed back into Dallas, found myself in very heavy, high-speed traffic on the freeways. Normally, this is not a problem, I commute in these conditions daily, but suddenly I was nearly run down by a cage that decided it needed my lane more than I did. This is not normally a big deal either, as it happens around here often, but usually I can accurately predict which drivers are not paying attention and avoid them before we are even close. This one I missed seeing until it was nearly too late, and as I took evasive action I nearly broadsided another car that I was not even aware was there! Two bad decisions and insufficient situational awareness, all within seconds I was behind the power curve. Time to get off the freeway. I hit the next exit, and as I was in an area I knew pretty well, headed through a few big residential neighborhoods as a new route home. As I turned onto the nearly empty streets I opened the visor on my full-face helmet to help get some air. I figured some slow riding through the quiet surface streets would give me time to relax, think, and regain that "edge" so frequently required when riding. Little did I suspect... As I passed an oncoming car, a brown furry missile shot out from under it and tumbled to a stop immediately in front of me. It was a squirrel, and must have been trying to run across the road when it encountered the car. I really was not going very fast, but there was no time to brake or avoid it, it was that close. I hate to run over animals and I really hate it on a motorcycle, but a squirrel should pose no danger to me. I barely had time to brace for the impact. Animal lovers never fear. Squirrels can take care of themselves! Inches before impact, the squirrel flipped to his feet. He was standing on his hind legs and facing the oncoming Valkyrie with steadfast resolve in his little beady eyes. His mouth opened, and at the last possible second, he screamed and leapt! I am pretty sure the scream was squirrel for, "Banzai!" or maybe, "Die you gravy-sucking, heathen scum!" as the leap was spectacular and he flew over the windshield and impacted me squarely in the chest. Instantly he set upon me. If I did not know better I would have sworn he brought twenty of his little buddies along for the attack. Snarling, hissing, and tearing at my clothes, he was a frenzy of activity. As I was dressed only in a light t-shirt, summer riding gloves, and jeans this was a bit of a cause for concern. This furry little tornado was doing some damage! Picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a t-shirt, and leather gloves puttering maybe 25mph down a quiet residential street and in the fight of his life with a squirrel. And losing. I grabbed for him with my left hand and managed to snag his tail. With all my strength I flung the evil rodent off the left of the bike, almost running into the right curb as I recoiled from the throw. That should have done it. The matter should have ended right there. It really should have. The squirrel could have sailed into one of the pristinely kept yards and gone on about his business, and I could have headed home. No one would have been the wiser. But this was no ordinary squirrel. This was not even an ordinary pissed-off squirrel. This was an evil attack squirrel of death! Somehow he caught my gloved finger with one of his little hands, and with the force of the throw swung around and with a resounding thump and an amazing impact he landed square on my back and resumed his rather anti-social and extremely distracting activities. He also managed to take my left glove with him! The situation was not improved. Not improved at all. His attacks were continuing, and now I could not reach him. I was startled to say the least. The combination of the force of the throw, only having one hand (the throttle hand) on the handlebars, and my jerking back unfortunately put a healthy twist through my right hand and into the throttle. A healthy twist on the throttle of a Valkyrie can only have one result. Torque. This is what the Valkyrie is made for, and she is very, very good at it. The engine roared as the front wheel left the pavement. The squirrel screamed in anger. The Valkyrie screamed in ecstasy. I screamed in? Well just plain screamed. Now picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a slightly squirrel torn t-shirt, and only one leather glove roaring at maybe 70mph and rapidly accelerating down a quiet residential street on one wheel and with a demonic squirrel on his back. The man and the squirrel are both screaming bloody murder. With the sudden acceleration I was forced to put my other hand back on the handlebars and try to get control of the bike. This was leaving the mutant squirrel to his own devices, but I really did not want to crash into somebody's tree, house, or parked car. Also, I had not yet figured out how to release the throttle; my brain was just simply overloaded. I did manage to mash the back brake, but it had little effect against the massive power of the big cruiser. About this time the squirrel decided that I was not paying sufficient attention to this very serious battle (maybe he is a Scottish attack squirrel of death), and he came around my neck and got IN my full- face helmet with me. As the faceplate closed partway and he began hissing in my face I am quite sure my screaming changed tone and intensity. It seemed to have little effect on the squirrel however. The rpm's on The Dragon maxed out (I was not concerned about shifting at the moment) and her front end started to drop. Now picture the large man on the huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a very ragged torn t-shirt, and wearing one leather glove roaring at probably 80mph, still on one wheel, with a large puffy squirrel s tail sticking out his mostly closed full-face helmet. By now the screams are probably getting a little hoarse. Finally I got the upper hand I managed to grab his tail again, pulled him out of my helmet, and slung him to the left as hard as I could. This time it worked sort-of. Spectacularly sort-of, so to speak. Picture the scene. You are a cop. You and your partner have pulled off on a quiet residential street and parked with your windows down to do some paperwork. Suddenly a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser dressed in jeans, a torn t-shirt flapping in the breeze, and wearing one leather glove, moving at probably 80mph on one wheel, and screaming bloody murder roars by and with all his strength throws a live squirrel grenade directly into your police car. I heard screams. They weren't mine... I managed to get the big motorcycle under directional control and dropped the front wheel to the ground. I then used maximum braking and skidded to a stop in a cloud of tire smoke at the stop sign at a busy cross street. I would have returned to fess up (and to get my glove back). I really would have. Really. But for two things. First, the cops did not seem interested or the slightest bit concerned about me at the moment. One of them was on his back in the front yard of the house they had been parked in front of and was rapidly crabbing backwards away from the patrol car. The other was standing in the street and was training a riot shotgun on the police cruiser. So the cops were not interested in me. They often insist to "let the professionals handle it" anyway. That was one thing. The other? Well, I swear I could see the squirrel, standing in the back window of the patrol car among shredded and flying pieces of foam and upholstery, and shaking his little fist at me. I think he was shooting me the finger! That is one dangerous squirrel. And now he has a patrol car! I took a deep breath, turned on my turn-signal, made an easy right turn, and sedately left the neighborhood. As for my easy and slow drive home? Screw it. Faced with choice of 80mph cars and inattentive drivers, or the evil, demonic, attack squirrel of death...I'll take my chances with the freeway. Every time. And I'll buy myself a new pair of gloves.